Sometimes the truth is okay to bend. No one likes people who are truthful 100% of the time. In all honestly if you’re truthful 100% you’re a bit of a dickhead. (See the irony in that sentence? Yay self deprecating jokes.) As a general rule of thumb small lies are okay. I’m not talking ‘do I look fat in this?’ Because there’s always a tactful way of telling someone you love that there’s a more flattering outfit for them. I’m talking more ‘you were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight.’
Let’s not lie to ourselves. I was not the most beautiful woman in the room tonight. Averaging at about a 6 on any man’s abysmal charting system, I am fully confident I was not the most beautiful woman in the room tonight. I probably wasn’t even the most beautiful woman in the room according to YOU tonight.. but the important thing is you understand that you’ve committed to me for reasons, reasons that stretch further than me having to be the most beautiful woman in the room, in all rooms, forever. This lie tells me you’re thinking with your brain and not with your penis. Thanks for that one, we’ll both keep pretending it’s true because it doesn’t hurt anyone.
Another common lie is the eternity lie. ‘I’ll never leave you’, ‘we’ll be together forever’, ‘you’re all I want.’ Why make promises you, although you may want to, just can’t keep? The worst situation is you’re a jerk, you decide to run for the hills and never look back but there are other things that void these statements. People change, grow apart, life gets in the way, sometimes people die. There are a ton of situations you can never account for. As my mother says: ‘if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.’ (and she stayed away from her boyfriend [my dad] for 5 months… BEFORE SKYPE.) These lies can hurt but they usually aren’t taken seriously, or if they are it’s by a 13 year olds whose relationship lasted a week.
On the other hand there are lies that can kill.
Lies that reach down and twist your guts like a corkscrew. Lies that make the bile rise up and burn your throat when you find out they’re not truths. Things like: ‘I love you.’, ‘I’m here for you.’, ‘Your secret is safe with me.’
Lies that manipulate. Lies that grin. Lies that leave you winded and spitting blood.
See I’ve got stained teeth, and they’ll never be clean again. Maybe that’s why I can’t believe: ‘you’re all I want,’ or ‘I’ll never leave you,’ or even ‘you were the most beautiful girl in the room tonight.’ Because all these unpaid actors have got to find work somewhere and I guess they’re all practising on me.
But I’m trying,
To not see lying,
– here’s a start.